Tech Support in 1,000,000 years BC

Me: This is Kralc
Caller: I can’t get my Rock to work
Me: In what way?
Caller: It’s not doing nothing.
Me: What’s it supposed to be doing?
Caller: Killing stuff. But it just sits there.
Me: Is it stuck in something? Like, does it move?
Caller: Yeah it’s loose.
Me: Are you able to pick it up? Or is it too heavy?
Caller: I can pick it up.
Me: …so you can pick it up. What happens when you throw it?
Caller: What do you mean, “Throw it?”
Me: In order to start killing stuff, the user will lift and grip the rock with their hand, raise it up next to their head and back a bit, then push their hand forward fast before letting go. The rock will connect with the thing in front of you and kill it. Is that what you’ve been doing?
Caller: I thought these things killed on their own. No one told me I had to ….throw it.
Me: Why would you think that?
Caller: Because Kleck tripped and fell the other day, and the rock killed him from the ground.
Me: Well there’s a difference here. Throwing the rock is killing. Kleck had an “accident.”
Caller: Well this thing doesn’t work. Can you send someone over to fix it?

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If The Tech Desk Supported Food

What can I help you with today?

“I can’t put the butter on my bread.”

So you can’t apply butter to anything?

“No I can’t.”

What happens when you try?

“Nothing.”

… … Nothing at all?

“Nothing.  It happened after the butter knife went missing.”

… …

“I haven’t been able to find the knife for a week.  Nobody here can find it. And because we can’t find the knife we can’t use our butter.  I called my manager and he told me to call tech support.  Can you send someone out to find it?”

What about another knife? What happens when you use a different one?

“We can’t find ANY knives.  They’re all gone.  We can’t operate like this, without butter.  Can’t you just send someone out to find them right away?”

Well I could get a missing device tech out to find them for you.  But undetstand that “Right away” means added cost for an emergency tech dispatch.  That comes off your location’s budget.  Are you certain that all the drawers near your butter have been checked, to see if maybe the knives were relocated?

… … … “I found them! Chris put them in another drawer that was closer to the butter, and didn’t tell me.  You’re amazing! Thank you!”